Your thoughts?

The subject line read "Your thoughts?"

I got an unsolicited message from "John Smith, MBA" via LinkedIn. I have never talked to this person or heard the name before.

There are SO MANY things wrong with this approach that it would be impossible to have a meaningful discussion with him:

Eric

I would like to explore exciting and challenging opportunities with a health and fitness or sport company, and specifically within the marketing or business development areas. I was recently developing the launch & marketing plan of a electronic fitness system for [a major fitness equipment brand] with [the Vice President of Marketing]. I was the lead manager promoting & presenting the system to our global network.

I have extensive experience in marketing and project management, both domestically and internationally gained with leaders of the health and fitness industry.

I am confident that my skills, professionalism, and deep passion for sports would be tremendous assets for any team. Please visit my LinkedIn profile for further information. I look forward to speaking with you at your earliest convenience.

John

I couldn't help myself. If this individual had a marketing bone in his body, he would have made at least SOME effort to customize this message.

There's absolutely no indication that he knows about or cares about his target audience. That's Marketing 101.

So my response was:

John:

Congratulations. You started six of seven sentences with the first person pronoun. That's a record in my twenty years of search experience.

Those are my thoughts.

Eric

Is that so wrong?